Happy New Year my blogger fam, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are looking forward to an amazing 2018! My holiday was very quiet, relaxing and a time of reflection for me. I have had a lot going on and I just needed to close myself off from the world, spend some time on my own and figure out what I want in 2018. I still haven’t quite figured everything out but I am on the right path and I am proud of myself for doing what I needed to do for me. As a people pleaser I would say I am off to a good start, minus my little fall of course!
I am not one to go out on New Year’s. I don’t drink, my good friends are scattered across the province and the US as is that special someone that I would have spent it with. And it drives me nuts that restaurants are ridiculously over priced and they tend to limit the menu. If I am going to pay that much, I want to order what I want lol. So in the last 10 years I have definitely made my own tradition of ringing in the New Year solo and I am ok with that. I make some delicious food at home, watch some TV or movies and go to sleep, this year I didn’t even make it to the ball drop.
I was particularly happy with my decision this year as the weather was so darn cold here. And if I am staying in that means I get to wear something warm and cozy. But having said that, I do like to bring it in in style so I can’t just wear any PJs. Of course when I saw that Premme came out with PJs in their holiday collection I knew that they were what I was wearing to ring in 2018.
But it also gave me an opportunity to do something that I haven’t done yet and that is showcase one of the beautiful bras that Elomi has sent me. You see up until the PJ edition of my Holiday Double Slay I had never posted a picture of me where you can clearly see my bra. So while I have had several brands who have wanted to work with me my policy was always to not post in the bra but focus on talking about fit etc. But I know that seeing a picture of me in the bra would probably be so much more helpful because it would help my reader determine how it may fit them. Since I started the blog I had this notion of what I could and couldn’t do because I was a professional and that was my identity. Lisa, the woman, the significant other, the daughter, the sister, the friend always took a back seat.
It also didn’t help that I had several influences in my life that had opinions on what I should and shouldn’t post and that definitely skewed my own perceptions and impacted my decision making. And then when I was basically told that I couldn’t post it without repercussions I have to admit that I retreated and didn’t stand up for myself. But now that I am out of that situation I realized that I was free. Free to make my own decisions on what I share and don’t share. I definitely took some baby steps in 2017 but in 2018 I have decided there is no looking back and I am going to assert and stand up for myself when necessary. I am open and will listen to the opinions of others but ultimately the decision will be mine.
Because once I reflected on the situation I realized that in a way I felt like I was being censored. That as a woman I was being told something that you would never tell a man, especially because I was fat. But my moral compass is strong and I am governed by it. You won’t see me post lingerie because I am private in that respect and do believe that is not in line with my role as a professional. You also won’t see me post any kind of nude work for the same reason. But I support every single women who chooses to because that is THEIR choice.
Taking my power back has been a process, it’s not like I hit a magic button and voila I automatically did whatever, whenever. It’s like self love and confidence. You can’t just have it because you want it. I hated myself for such a long time so the road to overcoming that is inevitably going to take time too. And some challenges and mindsets are going to be easier to overcome than others. Remember to be kind to yourself, it’s not a perfect process. Don’t forget to celebrate the small victories along the way too.
Over the break I was so grateful for all the encouraging and supportive messages I received from you. You guys are great all year round but there was a particular outpouring of extra love and it made me very emotional but in a good way. Being a size 28 even in the plus size arena can be a challenge. There’s always some anxiety about being accepted or just being seen as “morbidly obese” versus socially acceptable like “small fat”. Like really who even came up with that phrase? It’s like people’s insecurities over the word fat take over and we let the word have power that it shouldn’t, it as an adjective, plain and simple. So knowing that I inspire because of fashion which is my goal feels amazing and I have all of you to thank for that.
Well I think that’s enough reflection for today, let me give some info on these pieces…
These PJs are very menswear inspired, they remind me of the matching set my grandfather wore when I was little. With the high button collared shirt with exaggerated cuffs and a boxy shape you get that covered up feeling but just leave some buttons open and you have instant sex appeal. And the black burn out fabric with blush pink satin trim and an array of purple floral weaved into it oozes femininity. This shirt could easily be worn to the office with a pencil skirt for a chic sophisticated look.
The shorts are just the matching perfection with an elastic waistband and the perfect length. They are also completely lined in a soft silky fabric which makes them extra special and not what you would typically see in plus fashion. I am wearing the 6 in both pieces because I wanted them to be comfortable. I love that Gabi and Nicolette are providing sizing recommendations for each piece on the website. It’s honest to say you might need to size up or down and it’s super helpful!
This bra by Elomi is my favourite, it was the first one I got fitted in by them and I need one in every colour. It’s called the Matilda and is practical yet sexy. I wasn’t used to wearing bras that didn’t have some kind of padding even if it was light so to try one on that was seamed and sheer and a natural cup was a new experience. It felt so amazing, the girls were still where they should be which is a top priority to me but the cups moulded to my breasts and the seaming provides shaping. And of course I learned I was still wearing the wrong cup size! As a reference I am wearing a 44H. I also learned that there didn’t need to be so many hooks in the back to provide the right support. Elomi are experts at what they do and you will know it the minute you wear one of their bras. I have been working with them for a year now and I am still learning! Making great bras for a full busted women is definitely a science.
I hope that my personal journey continues to inspire you in 2018 while still bringing you the best options for fashion in extended sizes. I am going to continue to push myself outside of my comfort zone and do what I never thought I could or should. Because sometimes the biggest thing holding you back is you.